“My name is Adam Lee, and I am in active recovery.
When I think about who I was, who I am today and who I wanted to be growing up I never thought my journey through active addiction and recovery would take me to the places I have gone. I was adopted by two amazing people who today I can call my mother and father without feeling resentment towards them. I had feelings of being abandoned and not “loved” by the people who I wanted to be loved by. I viewed life as a curse and not the gift it has become to be today.
My first drink set off a chain reaction and my addiction progressed, I became a person who I never thought I could or would become. I was a good student a triathlete and had opportunities to go places and do things that I dreamed about when I was a kid. I just wanted to fit in and be noticed and accepted by my peers. There was always a party to go to and I was always looking forward to getting really intoxicated “I loved the way it made me feel”. Somewhere along the line my drinking lead to consequences and run ins with the law. I discovered other substances along the way as well,” I tried them all” I loved the way the drugs made me feel. They soon became my primary focus and concern in life. I couldn’t hold a job, I was unreliable, a liar, a thief and I woke up in a line at a methadone clinic. I hated myself and frankly just wanted to “not exist anymore.” I endured this for many years. I would tell myself I want to stop, and I want to find a meaning or a purpose to my life but the excuses and all the lies I would tell myself kept me from seeing the truth. That I was an addict and I needed help. I could not stop using on my own I had crossed the line or the point of no return.
“I NEEDED STRUCTURE, SOMEONE TO HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE AND I HAD MUCH TO LEARN ABOUT HOW TO “LIVE LIFE ON LIFE’S TERMS.” I FOUND THIS IN GATEHOUSE SOBER LIVING.”
I am not a religious man but there was a point in my addiction where I was internally broken, mentally, physically and emotionally at my end. I just wanted to stop using. I had had some prior treatment and been to some meetings and met some people who actually seemed happy. So, I prayed and reached out for help. I found “recovery” I knew that a 30-day program was not going to be enough for me. I needed structure, someone to hold me accountable and I had much to learn about how to “live life on life’s terms.” I found this in GateHouse sober living. I had to be responsible and learn how to do the little things in life that build character like making my bed and accepting the answer no when I asked for something I wanted or thought I needed. I got a sponsor, he took me through the 12-steps because I was told that I could and would recover if I followed directions and became open minded and teachable. During this time my mind started to clear I felt healthier and I started to realize all the things I was missing out on in life. I wanted to be a son again, I wanted to go back to school and get an education, become a “productive member of society” yes there were ,mistakes to be made along the way for sure, but all the tools I acquired and the real friends I made in recovery made the journey, the feelings of fear and being alone much easier to cope with.
Today I try to keep my life simple and manageable by continuing to go to meetings, working with my sponsor and helping others. I love to play sports and exercise which is a huge part of my recovery as well. I have been able to go back to school and have found some meaning to my life in my work at GateHouse. Everything I have in my life today is directly related to my sobriety, which is my number one asset. I know without it I have nothing.”
Adam L.
GateHouse Alumnus
